Dismissive or–tssss–Fierce?

Disclaimer: Today’s post contains some vulgar terms. Read at your own discretion.

I’m not sure when it started becoming a popular trend, but all I know is best friends are calling each other bitches, whores, hoes, hookers. I mean, is that the sweetest thing you can call your BFF?

Sometimes those things are said in the heat of the moment to offend people. But now, I feel like people have such a thick skin, they don’t know the meaning of offense or self-respect.

Few days ago I was on Snooki’s webpage—don’t ask—and I happened to notice her tweets: Love you, hooker. Check out this bitch—she is the best. I’m relaxing with my whores. After a few tweets, I was appalled. I’m sure she meant no harm, but aren’t there any better words in the dictionary she’d rather use?

It is not only Snooki, but I’ve seen people use this terms a lot lately. The thing that bothers me most is why anyone would allow to be called something like that.

Personally, I don’t believe it is—tssss—fierce. It doesn’t have such a nice tone to it, and I can’t even believe people respond when they’re called such names.

Please, appraise me: did it become a hotshot trend after Jwow or Snooki or, even worse, the sweetest bitch (Sammy) started calling each other those names? Do people use it as a dismissive term? Or it is a lovey-dovey term that is irreplaceable? I’d like to know.

For The Sake Of Experience

If you’ve done something for the sake of experience, and the outcome wasn’t as you expected it, you’ll understand when I say those are the worst decisions a person can make in life.

Not long ago, I agreed to live with a roommate in the hope of learning to be an “adult”, and start experiencing real life with a lot of responsibilities. (More importantly, however, I was more elated about the fact that I finally got the freedom that I’ve always wanted and begged God for.) Well, I can say that I have learned that freedom doesn’t come easily—and when it comes along, it brings so many baggages you never want (not only experience) but know about.

1. The roommate: The initially bubbly, extremely nice, down-to-earth, and smart looking roommate will turn out to be a sloppy, shady, (unbelievably) stupid, and immature person you’ve ever met.  I’ve learned many times not to judge something too quickly, especially people. And this time I was willing to give this whole too-quick-to-judge belief the benefit of the doubt, and trust the “roommate” completely. Wrong move!
2. Amateurs in the hall: Perhaps dealing with one person can be manageable: you can manage to avoid them majority of the time, you can crash at a friend’s house for the night (maybe the whole week or month), or you can—eventually—drop the contract and leave. You can do whatever you want. However, unless you completely drop the contract (which, may I add, isn’t that easy and can be costly), you can’t hide from the amateurs who run around in the hall like six year olds. You can’t tell them to shut up because 1) they have the right to do whatever they want until quiet hours, and 2) you’re not their mothers. So you’re left to just shake your head disappointedly at their immaturity and suck it up. Painful!
3. The drunk kids: Everyone is entitled to express themselves the way they want as long as they are not touching (or, disturbing) anyone in particular. Personally, I don’t care if they are too drunk to walk to the restroom to puke. What I do care about is my sleep. I don’t appreciate some drunk person coming at 3 or 4 in the morning and screaming “I love my life!!!” at the top of their lung. It is just not acceptable. Plus, who cares if said person loves his/her life.
4. Those with no purpose or goal: I think college, for some students or even parents, is a rite of passage, and that is why they’re here (and why some parents send their kids to college)—to experience college life.  Mind you: I am not making any of this up. Statistic can speak for itself on how many drop outs there are at the end of every year. The thing is: If college is not your thing, and all you care about is being this lively person that wants to entertain others, why bother go to college (and waste your money and time)? I think it is possible to do keg party even if you’re not in college. (I am assuming most teenagers look forward to a keg party.)

It is my contention that some experiences are just not worth experiencing if they inflict agony and hatred; some people are worth not knowing if they teach you nihilism and distrust; and some things shouldn’t be done just for the sake experience. Plain simple.

Living With Strangers

One of the most horrible experience one can encounter is when a person is in a room with someone who is talking over the phone, and you know they don’t want you to hear what they are talking about—and you don’t either—but they are still there … talking. It is very awkward, and to be completely honest, you’d have no idea what to do. I mean, for starters, you can’t concentrate because you are listening to them gossiping, and then there is that fear of you thinking … Oh, crap. I don’t want them to think I am eavesdropping.

But in reality, they are the one who should go out and take the call. The other thing about this phone call dilemma is, when they go out to take the phone call you’ll still think, clearly they thought I am some sort of a creep for listening—weird. All in all, I have learned that living with strangers is the worst thing that can happen to a person–at least for me.

Do we lack virtue, or are we wise enough?

If I could write a book, it’d be a dystopian where kids are required to study Ethics as a requirement (like English and Math). Certainly, there will be opponents who’d think that is just tacky and, perhaps, they might do something to disrupt society. However, I’d make sure the story ends in a way those opponents understand the essence of ethics and agree with the society. (Maybe I should attempt to write this during NaNoWrimo.)

Surprisingly enough, from what I observed, lack of proper virtue is what is missing in college. College, paradoxically, will make you feel two things simultaneously. On one hand, you’re so happy you’re free. No more curfews, no more clean your room before I make you clean the entire house, no more keep the door open when you bring a girlfriend/boyfriend to your house—no more restrictions, is the point. On the other hand, you’ll feel like you’re thiiiiiis close to a better future where you don’t have to do home works, or do a 44 page reading about MySpace and Facebook for class (although that is quite interesting and fun to do, it’d lose its fun quality when it becomes a “requirement”), or solve any mathematical problems (no offense to Math nerds). The point is: you’ll have a future where you’ll do whatever you want without teachers/parents telling you to do it—which, personally, is much more enjoyable.

Whilst freedom and better future sounds good, the problem is how far we go to have fun, explore and experience college life.

I’m not going to say drink, don’t drink, or limit your drinks; nor will I say hook-up, don’t hook-up, or limit your hook-ups. I will say this, though: whenever you do something fun or is a must for a college life, question your motive. We are so young at this age, and I don’t get why anyone would want to have all the fun now and have nothing for the rest of their life. More importantly, though, this is a crucial moment for students to strive better than ever, and prove to oneself—or parents—that they are worth all the trouble.

When we get the freedom we’ve been craving for, we go nuts, I kid you not. When we get plenty of choices to choose from, we let those choices control us rather than controlling them. It’s like what Carrie Bradshaw said: “We’re spoiled by choices we’re unable to make one.” We’re bombarded with so many things we’re oblivious to what is right for us.

I think, perhaps, choice didn’t spoil us rather than giving us a splendid life. Perhaps the real issue is we don’t have the moral to question what is right or wrong; what should be limited or not; how much is too much; and, how much will impact our future, in a good and bad way?

Some people might read this and say, “Boohoo0—you’re boring.” In that case, I’m going to use the infamous Trey MacDougal’s term, “alrighty,” and move on. But must know this: we always pay for our actions. It might not be tomorrow, or the next day after that, or next week, or three, four, five years later. But we will pay, and we’ll regret our action and wish we had made a wise choice.

We think we’re always right unless someone brings convincing points to show us that we are not. Fairly, it is normal to think that way; it is only wrong to think we’re always right. With this mentality, we do whatever we like and we glibly consider ourselves bright, right, and wise. Yet, a person’s intelligence and virtue is measured by their humble quality to learn from their mistakes.

I’m not asking anyone to ignore fun. Not at all—do have fun—but know your limit. College opens great opportunities for students to meet different kind of people and learn different cultures and life styles. So hang out with those people you met, you know, ahem, sober. What about the clubs you signed up the first week of college—when was the last time you showed up for a meeting?

In short: be wise and ethically correct!

Manner Is More Than Please And Thank You

If you noticed some things around you, you’d see (mostly) mothers prompting their little kids to say “please” and “thank you” at the appropriate time. However, is manner just about saying please and thank you? Or, perhaps, holding a door for a lady? While those things are well respected gestures, I assuredly believe manner is more than that.

Recently, at a café, as I was getting my breakfast, a girl came out of nowhere and she was all over my space. Normally you’d understand if they say “excuse me” or “sorry, I’m kind of in a hurry” and then you’d let the person go first or something. But this pretentious young lady was rather arrogant. There was no apology or explanation from her part; she just wants to get what she wants while I stand and wait for her even though I got there first. I figured … she might had a lot in her mind and she forgot to say something; or, she probably didn’t do it intentionally. In any case, I wasn’t impressed with her manner.

Occasionally, I feel like most of us tend to overlook the big thing and focus on a small–or simple–details of our lives. For instance, while we can teach kids discipline, morality, and proper manners, we are more interested to enforce common demeanor. While we know manner is more than please and thank you, we only insist our kids learn those at early age because they are, I don’t know, more appropriate and simple?

When kids grow up and the only thing they learned from parents are those two things (thank you and please) and they disregard the more important life lessons (respect, manners, self-discipline, morality, etc.), who do we blame when we encounter people with little or no manner at all? Are kids expected to teach themselves manners at early age, or do we expect schools to enforce such traits?

Regardless of whose fault it is that some people don’t seem to have a sense of manner or respect to a fellow human being, once we grow up, we have to take responsibility for our action and acknowledge that we have to be more accountable than before. When you respect others, it only shows that you respect yourself (since self-respect comes first) and you are a dignified person—and not some meek moron who’s scared of others.

Fellow readers, always remember the three Rs: Respect (yourself and others). Rights (to do whatever you want to do, but in a way that doesn’t affect others unjustly). Responsibility (for all your action).