Manner Is More Than Please And Thank You

If you noticed some things around you, you’d see (mostly) mothers prompting their little kids to say “please” and “thank you” at the appropriate time. However, is manner just about saying please and thank you? Or, perhaps, holding a door for a lady? While those things are well respected gestures, I assuredly believe manner is more than that.

Recently, at a café, as I was getting my breakfast, a girl came out of nowhere and she was all over my space. Normally you’d understand if they say “excuse me” or “sorry, I’m kind of in a hurry” and then you’d let the person go first or something. But this pretentious young lady was rather arrogant. There was no apology or explanation from her part; she just wants to get what she wants while I stand and wait for her even though I got there first. I figured … she might had a lot in her mind and she forgot to say something; or, she probably didn’t do it intentionally. In any case, I wasn’t impressed with her manner.

Occasionally, I feel like most of us tend to overlook the big thing and focus on a small–or simple–details of our lives. For instance, while we can teach kids discipline, morality, and proper manners, we are more interested to enforce common demeanor. While we know manner is more than please and thank you, we only insist our kids learn those at early age because they are, I don’t know, more appropriate and simple?

When kids grow up and the only thing they learned from parents are those two things (thank you and please) and they disregard the more important life lessons (respect, manners, self-discipline, morality, etc.), who do we blame when we encounter people with little or no manner at all? Are kids expected to teach themselves manners at early age, or do we expect schools to enforce such traits?

Regardless of whose fault it is that some people don’t seem to have a sense of manner or respect to a fellow human being, once we grow up, we have to take responsibility for our action and acknowledge that we have to be more accountable than before. When you respect others, it only shows that you respect yourself (since self-respect comes first) and you are a dignified person—and not some meek moron who’s scared of others.

Fellow readers, always remember the three Rs: Respect (yourself and others). Rights (to do whatever you want to do, but in a way that doesn’t affect others unjustly). Responsibility (for all your action).