Let’s Talk About Friendship

For the past few days, I have been thinking a lot about friendship. Not necessarily best friends, but just friends. Friends like the ones you don’t have to tell your deepest, darkest secret, yet you remain in touch. You go out for a drink or movies. You talk about the world, life, movies, art, God, money, etc. They’d know things about you, but not completely everything. It’s like one of those people you can count on; the ones you can call and ask if they’d like to grab a cup of coffee because you feel like rambling – and vice versa.

I’ve been watching movies focusing on this topic specifically, and I was mainly fascinated by the fact that it is a lot easier for other individuals to make friends than it is for me. (Side note: maybe it looked easier because it is a movie and it is scripted, and they’re supposed to be friends … if they want to get paid. Regardless, it was fascinating to see how people can create friendship with an admirable ease.) It seems like almost everyone has this friendship lingo they can speak except for some exceptions.

I bet those exceptions think, I want to make friends that I can go to Starbucks with to talk about everything and anything till past midnight. I want to make friends I can hang out with and laugh and … just admire life. I want to make friends I can go shopping with, or sleep over at their place (because I had been in the neighborhood, and they insist I sleep over). I want to make friends that love me, appreciate me, (not think but) believe that I am an intelligent human being they enjoy having intelligent conversations with, and just have fun with me. I want friends that can make me laugh out loud and do silly things with me and just help me appreciate life for what it is.

I’m not entirely sure on the accurate description or connotation of what a friendship is, but I think they’re individuals that you are comfortable being around and you depend on. They might not make it to your emergency contact list, but they’re the ones that’ll be there when you’re in trouble. Perhaps friendship doesn’t have an absolute definition. Perhaps people define friendship in a way a person fills a hole in their life. However, one thing is for sure: they will always be there!

Fellow readers, enlighten me: what does friendship means to you? What do you expect from them, and vice versa?

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Dear Twentysomethings,

Lately I’ve been wondering about my twentysomething fellow dubious seekers out there, and I’ve been wondering if they are actually (pun intended) dubious as what to do with their lives. Sometimes it is not because we (twentysomethings) don’t have the potential to work or WOW potential employers with our ability, but I think a lot of twentysomethings are not being given a chance. I understand that we have to do our part in order to succeed – and, perhaps, most of us lack that initial push to start or are scared of not going anywhere after we start – but sometimes it feels like every door is closed. Nothing you say or do mean anything, and you have to try harder and smarter and better. However, how do you try harder, smarter, and better when your best isn’t enough?

For the longest time, I wished for someone to discover me; to give me the opportunity I thought I deserved; and for me to reap my hard work. Yet again, for the longest time, the question remained: Who? When? How? Where? Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only twentysomething gal who is confused about her life, or if some other twentysomething individuals are facing the same life dilemma.

Recently, though, life taught me that I have to work hard to get discovered, to earn opportunities I believe I deserve, and to put myself out there regardless of the so-many, so-awful rejections and incompetency comment I receive. Still, I struggle with myself trying to figure out where to start and what to start with. I know I have numerous passions: I write, I read, I enjoy educative TV shows and movies (and, perhaps, review them or use them in one of my well-articulated, relatable article), I’m into decorating, I organize anything and everything with passion, I love fitness, I enjoy exploring new things and living life to the fullest – and did I mention I am a full time psychology major student? Yes. I have so many passions that I can’t jot down on a resume so I can get elected for the best job opening available. Basically, I’ve learned to dive myself in different pursuits. However, I don’t know if that is beneficial to my quest for the best career, or if it portrays me as an indecisive, non-committal individual.

Not long ago, I read how so many successful individuals of our days recovered after they lost their job. The article talked about how their “supposed” road to failure became their route to success, and I wondered … is there a chance for us twentysomethings as well? Could this confused and uncertain path lead us to certainty and assurance?

Only time will tell.

 

I Don’t Know!

A while back I tweeted: “To all the dubious inquirers, here is my answer: your guess is as good as mine.” While that might seem confusing or nonsensical, it harbors profound meaning … depending on your interpretation and when you interpret it. Here is my explanation, or the message I was trying to deliver: I was reassuring the worriers out there. Supposedly, these (alleged) worriers have been inquiring about one thing – What is going on? – and I, the responder, don’t have a clue either.

I don’t know why it is our contention that when people act a certain way we know why they are being like that or what is going on with them. I doubt that is the case all the time. Sometimes emotion is a tricky thing: when you feel like you know yourself and your emotions thoroughly yet you cannot explain what is going on with you … that is tough. Perhaps you don’t know or recognize the starting point of your downfall, or what caused it, but at some point in your journey, you have this moment where you realize you don’t know what has happened and how you got where you are right now. It wasn’t a choice you made; it wasn’t even a thought you entertained. As a matter of fact, you were sailing life just fine until that moment.

I am not a determinist; I believe people are responsible for their actions. Therefore, when I am in a despondent state of mind, I believe I am responsible for this gloomy situation that has encased me. However, what I could never figure out is where I went wrong. Maybe I am too careless to pay attention to things until they escalate to uncontrollable distance. Maybe I hide under denial, hoping it will get better … sometime soon. Even though I know I have to take a part to a solution, I feel like I am hoping someone will do my part as well. Beats me!

Yet again, I acknowledge that I don’t have to know everything and I am fine not knowing. What bothers me most – or what I want to change is that – the inability to dance in the storm or smile while muddling amongst the chaos. When hope is a far-fetched idea, I want to be able to think – if not hope – that tomorrow will be a better day. I want to believe that today’s mayhem is tomorrow’s triumph. After all, I want to believe there is a reason for everything. I want to know that I wasn’t sad or incomprehensive of my emotions for no reason. Despite all the negativity that surrounds me, I want to believe today wasn’t just another day, but as it is … it had a purpose. Even if it was not what I had in mind or what I want my life to be, I want to remain assured that today was a stepping-stone to a better future.

Divorce

This is how I define or understand divorce: I am bored and I believe I will find what is missing in this marriage somewhere else. The thing is: there will always be something missing in a marriage, and there will always be someone out there that can fill the missing gap. While enjoying the missing puzzle, the other met needs will be forgotten until infatuation vanishes. However when reality hits the nail on the head, there comes the realization that there are other things missing in this relationship, as well, and with that comes discontentment and disappointment. Here, again, the process begins: looking for the missing enigma outside of the current relationship or marriage. Sometimes this continues in the same pattern (marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce); in other cases, out of sheer exhaustion of looking for the (illusive) missing element, settling becomes the best – and only – option.