Dear Twentysomethings,

Lately I’ve been wondering about my twentysomething fellow dubious seekers out there, and I’ve been wondering if they are actually (pun intended) dubious as what to do with their lives. Sometimes it is not because we (twentysomethings) don’t have the potential to work or WOW potential employers with our ability, but I think a lot of twentysomethings are not being given a chance. I understand that we have to do our part in order to succeed – and, perhaps, most of us lack that initial push to start or are scared of not going anywhere after we start – but sometimes it feels like every door is closed. Nothing you say or do mean anything, and you have to try harder and smarter and better. However, how do you try harder, smarter, and better when your best isn’t enough?

For the longest time, I wished for someone to discover me; to give me the opportunity I thought I deserved; and for me to reap my hard work. Yet again, for the longest time, the question remained: Who? When? How? Where? Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only twentysomething gal who is confused about her life, or if some other twentysomething individuals are facing the same life dilemma.

Recently, though, life taught me that I have to work hard to get discovered, to earn opportunities I believe I deserve, and to put myself out there regardless of the so-many, so-awful rejections and incompetency comment I receive. Still, I struggle with myself trying to figure out where to start and what to start with. I know I have numerous passions: I write, I read, I enjoy educative TV shows and movies (and, perhaps, review them or use them in one of my well-articulated, relatable article), I’m into decorating, I organize anything and everything with passion, I love fitness, I enjoy exploring new things and living life to the fullest – and did I mention I am a full time psychology major student? Yes. I have so many passions that I can’t jot down on a resume so I can get elected for the best job opening available. Basically, I’ve learned to dive myself in different pursuits. However, I don’t know if that is beneficial to my quest for the best career, or if it portrays me as an indecisive, non-committal individual.

Not long ago, I read how so many successful individuals of our days recovered after they lost their job. The article talked about how their “supposed” road to failure became their route to success, and I wondered … is there a chance for us twentysomethings as well? Could this confused and uncertain path lead us to certainty and assurance?

Only time will tell.

 

For The Sake Of Experience

If you’ve done something for the sake of experience, and the outcome wasn’t as you expected it, you’ll understand when I say those are the worst decisions a person can make in life.

Not long ago, I agreed to live with a roommate in the hope of learning to be an “adult”, and start experiencing real life with a lot of responsibilities. (More importantly, however, I was more elated about the fact that I finally got the freedom that I’ve always wanted and begged God for.) Well, I can say that I have learned that freedom doesn’t come easily—and when it comes along, it brings so many baggages you never want (not only experience) but know about.

1. The roommate: The initially bubbly, extremely nice, down-to-earth, and smart looking roommate will turn out to be a sloppy, shady, (unbelievably) stupid, and immature person you’ve ever met.  I’ve learned many times not to judge something too quickly, especially people. And this time I was willing to give this whole too-quick-to-judge belief the benefit of the doubt, and trust the “roommate” completely. Wrong move!
2. Amateurs in the hall: Perhaps dealing with one person can be manageable: you can manage to avoid them majority of the time, you can crash at a friend’s house for the night (maybe the whole week or month), or you can—eventually—drop the contract and leave. You can do whatever you want. However, unless you completely drop the contract (which, may I add, isn’t that easy and can be costly), you can’t hide from the amateurs who run around in the hall like six year olds. You can’t tell them to shut up because 1) they have the right to do whatever they want until quiet hours, and 2) you’re not their mothers. So you’re left to just shake your head disappointedly at their immaturity and suck it up. Painful!
3. The drunk kids: Everyone is entitled to express themselves the way they want as long as they are not touching (or, disturbing) anyone in particular. Personally, I don’t care if they are too drunk to walk to the restroom to puke. What I do care about is my sleep. I don’t appreciate some drunk person coming at 3 or 4 in the morning and screaming “I love my life!!!” at the top of their lung. It is just not acceptable. Plus, who cares if said person loves his/her life.
4. Those with no purpose or goal: I think college, for some students or even parents, is a rite of passage, and that is why they’re here (and why some parents send their kids to college)—to experience college life.  Mind you: I am not making any of this up. Statistic can speak for itself on how many drop outs there are at the end of every year. The thing is: If college is not your thing, and all you care about is being this lively person that wants to entertain others, why bother go to college (and waste your money and time)? I think it is possible to do keg party even if you’re not in college. (I am assuming most teenagers look forward to a keg party.)

It is my contention that some experiences are just not worth experiencing if they inflict agony and hatred; some people are worth not knowing if they teach you nihilism and distrust; and some things shouldn’t be done just for the sake experience. Plain simple.

Do we lack virtue, or are we wise enough?

If I could write a book, it’d be a dystopian where kids are required to study Ethics as a requirement (like English and Math). Certainly, there will be opponents who’d think that is just tacky and, perhaps, they might do something to disrupt society. However, I’d make sure the story ends in a way those opponents understand the essence of ethics and agree with the society. (Maybe I should attempt to write this during NaNoWrimo.)

Surprisingly enough, from what I observed, lack of proper virtue is what is missing in college. College, paradoxically, will make you feel two things simultaneously. On one hand, you’re so happy you’re free. No more curfews, no more clean your room before I make you clean the entire house, no more keep the door open when you bring a girlfriend/boyfriend to your house—no more restrictions, is the point. On the other hand, you’ll feel like you’re thiiiiiis close to a better future where you don’t have to do home works, or do a 44 page reading about MySpace and Facebook for class (although that is quite interesting and fun to do, it’d lose its fun quality when it becomes a “requirement”), or solve any mathematical problems (no offense to Math nerds). The point is: you’ll have a future where you’ll do whatever you want without teachers/parents telling you to do it—which, personally, is much more enjoyable.

Whilst freedom and better future sounds good, the problem is how far we go to have fun, explore and experience college life.

I’m not going to say drink, don’t drink, or limit your drinks; nor will I say hook-up, don’t hook-up, or limit your hook-ups. I will say this, though: whenever you do something fun or is a must for a college life, question your motive. We are so young at this age, and I don’t get why anyone would want to have all the fun now and have nothing for the rest of their life. More importantly, though, this is a crucial moment for students to strive better than ever, and prove to oneself—or parents—that they are worth all the trouble.

When we get the freedom we’ve been craving for, we go nuts, I kid you not. When we get plenty of choices to choose from, we let those choices control us rather than controlling them. It’s like what Carrie Bradshaw said: “We’re spoiled by choices we’re unable to make one.” We’re bombarded with so many things we’re oblivious to what is right for us.

I think, perhaps, choice didn’t spoil us rather than giving us a splendid life. Perhaps the real issue is we don’t have the moral to question what is right or wrong; what should be limited or not; how much is too much; and, how much will impact our future, in a good and bad way?

Some people might read this and say, “Boohoo0—you’re boring.” In that case, I’m going to use the infamous Trey MacDougal’s term, “alrighty,” and move on. But must know this: we always pay for our actions. It might not be tomorrow, or the next day after that, or next week, or three, four, five years later. But we will pay, and we’ll regret our action and wish we had made a wise choice.

We think we’re always right unless someone brings convincing points to show us that we are not. Fairly, it is normal to think that way; it is only wrong to think we’re always right. With this mentality, we do whatever we like and we glibly consider ourselves bright, right, and wise. Yet, a person’s intelligence and virtue is measured by their humble quality to learn from their mistakes.

I’m not asking anyone to ignore fun. Not at all—do have fun—but know your limit. College opens great opportunities for students to meet different kind of people and learn different cultures and life styles. So hang out with those people you met, you know, ahem, sober. What about the clubs you signed up the first week of college—when was the last time you showed up for a meeting?

In short: be wise and ethically correct!